Depression
by DauntlessErudite29
Summary: Harry is depressed after Sirius dies and is feeling heartbroken and alone. After running into Severus one night, the Potions Master offers to let Harry stay with him over the summer. As Harry slowly realizes that he still has a life that he loves, Severus gets more and more curious about the Boy Who Lived. And they both might even find love. Snarry. Warnings and everything inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Depression**

 **Summary: Harry is depressed after Sirius dies and is feeling heartbroken and alone. After running into Severus one night, the Potions Master offers to let Harry stay with him over the summer. As Harry slowly realizes that he still has a life that he loves, Severus gets more and more curious about the Boy Who Lived. And they both might even find love.**

 **Rated: M**

 **Genre(s): Romance, Angst, Drama, Friendship**

 **Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy/Severus Snape, Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger**

 **Warning(s): Angst, depression, cutting, violence, underage relationship and intense kissing scenes, sexual themes and implications**

* * *

It was almost the end of Harry's fifth year of school. Summer was almost here, and it was gradually getting hotter and more humid outside. Students studied for their finals on the grass down by the lake, including Harry's friends.

But Harry didn't notice all of this.

He had just lost his godfather, and it had taken a toll on him. Not just his mental health, but his physical health. Harry barely ate, and only got 4 hours of sleep each night - max. And that was without nightmares.

"You can't go on like this, Harry," Remus said to him one afternoon. He had stopped by Harry's dormitory for tea, and the two sat in the Gryffindor common room alone. "Sirius would want you to keep living."

"I know," Harry said, tears filling his eyes. "I just...I just miss him so much. Every day. He's all I can think about. I feel like...I can't go on without him." Harry paused to wipe away his tears. "You know I never told him that I loved him? Not once."

"Oh Harry," Remus said sadly. "He knew. He always knew. It was obvious to everyone. And you have no idea how happy you made him. He loved you so much, Harry. I hope you realize that."

"I do. Which is why I feel so bad that I never told him." Harry felt hot, salty tears steaming down his cheeks. "It hurts. It almost physically hurts, Remus."

"I know, Harry, I know." Remus pulled him into a hug and Harry sank into his arms, letting Remus comfort him.

* * *

Severus sat in his office, grading his last class's final exams. He drank yet another cup of coffee, realizing that he'd lost count of how many he had.

Sighing, Severus got up and threw open the door of his classroom. His eyes hurt. Wandering down the hall, he planned to go back to his rooms and take a long hot bath.

That was when he heard the sound of crying. Well, sobbing was a more accurate term. Loud, hiccuping, gasping sobs. The sound tore through Severus's heart, startling him, and he went towards the sound, hoping to locate the source of it.

He suddenly found himself staring at Harry Potter, red eyed and tearstained and currently wiping his nose on his sleeve. It was several moments before he noticed Severus, but when he did, his face reddened even more. "Professor Snape?"

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing out of your dormitory so late?" he asked.

"Remus stopped by for a visit, and I was just seeing him out," Potter explained. "He, er, wanted to talk about Sirius."

Severus suddenly remembered that Potter had just lost his godfather, Black. "I am sorry about your godfather," he said.

The boy's eyes widened in surprise. "Professor Snape, is that you?"

Severus felt the corners of his mouth tugging upward. "I am capable of feeling emotion, though I may not always show it." He looked more closely at Potter, who had awful dark circles under his eyes. "Potter, how much sleep are you getting?"

"Um, not very much," said Potter. "Like 3-4 hours a night."

Severus could barely stop himself from wincing. "See me after class tomorrow and I will brew you a Dreamless Sleep potion," he said.

"Thank you sir," said Potter, and turned to leave.

"Potter?" Severus called as the boy started down the hall. Harry turned back. "Let me escort you to your dorm." Potter didn't look well, and Severus felt a pang when he thought about him wandering the corridors alone at night.

Potter looked confused, but he didn't object as Severus walked with him to Gryffindor Tower. "So what are you doing out so late, Professor?"

"I was going to my rooms," Severus said. "I was just grading papers."

"Oh," said Potter. "Did you grade mine?"

Severus smirked. "Good luck trying to get information out of me. You'll get your score when everyone else does."

Potter laughed, and Severus stared at him in surprise. "All right, Professor." They walked in silence from then on. Severus wondered what Potter was feeling, and wondered if it was any similar to what he himself had felt when he lost Lily. It was then that he realized just how much he didn't know Potter, and he suddenly felt a rush of curiosity.

"Well...thank you for walking me to my dorm, Professor," Potter said.

Severus blinked and realized they had arrived at Gryffindor Tower. "It was nothing," Severus said. His gaze met Harry's, and Severus felt a strange stirring inside him. "Try to get some sleep tonight, Potter. I will have your potion ready in the morning."

Potter nodded. "Thank you, Professor. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Severus said, watching the boy disappear into his dorm before heading to his own rooms.

* * *

"I just don't know what to do," Severus said to Albus the next morning. He'd stayed up late brewing the Dreamless Sleep potion for Potter, and then had fallen into bed, so exhausted that he'd fallen asleep before his head hit the pillow. "I feel so helpless. Albus, you should have seen the boy! He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep in the past month."

"He hasn't," said Albus, the twinkle in his eyes gone for once. "Harry has had a hard life, and he has lost many people. His aunt and uncle have not been kind to him, and he dreads going back to them. If you feel helpless, Severus, you could always offer to let him stay with you."

Severus was curious at the mention of an aunt and uncle. They weren't kind to Potter? Did that mean he hadn't been the spoiled brat Severus thought he was?

"He wouldn't want to stay with me," Severus said. "He hates me too."

"But you showed him kindness last night," Albus pointed out. "You made him laugh, Severus. I can't tell you the last time he laughed."

Severus sighed. "All right. I'll talk to him after class today. But what if he doesn't want to?"

Albus smiled. "Then be his friend. Be nice to him. Severus, I know you're scared to let down those walls of yours, but Harry is a wonderful person and he will accept you for who you are. You need to let more people in, and he needs as many friends as he can get right now."

Severus sighed. "All right. I'll try."

* * *

 **AN: Hope you all liked the chapter! Let me know if I should continue. Please review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**ALiveTodaytoWrite: I'm glad you liked it, thanks! :)**

* * *

After Potions class the next day, Harry walked up to Snape's desk. It was the last class because he had just had his Potions final. "You said to see you after class, Professor."

"Yes, I did. Here is your potion." Snape gave him a small vial. "Only four drops a night, it will knock you out."

"Thank you, Professor." Harry looked at the small vial, thinking of how little sleep he had been getting.

"It should hold off any nightmares as well," Snape said. "And before you leave, Potter...I would like to ask you something."

"Uh, sure," Harry said, suddenly feeling awkward.

"I...well, I hope you don't mind that I spoke with the Headmaster about our conversation last night," Snape said, to Harry's surprise. "He told me about your aunt and uncle, and if you would rather stay with me this summer, you would be welcome to."

Snape knew of his aunt and uncle? Harry's face burned in embarrassment, and he really wished Dumbledore wouldn't have said anything. But...Harry couldn't push away Snape's offer. As cruel as the Potions Master could be sometimes, the Dursleys were worse. "Would Professor Dumbledore allow it?"

"It was his idea," Snape admitted. "So, yes."

"Wow," Harry said. "Thank you for the offer, Professor. I would like that."

"All right then," Severus said. "I am going back to my flat by Diagon Alley in a few days. You may come with me."

Harry felt himself smiling for the first time in a while. "Thank you, Professor. It...it really means a lot. And thank you for the potion. Again."

"You're welcome." Snape looked embarrassed, and Harry wondered how often the Potions Master was thanked or complimented. "And you don't have to stay inside the flat all summer, you know. I'm sure you don't want to be stuck with me."

"I want to get to know you more, Professor," Harry said. It was true, and it was part of the reason why he was agreeing to live with Snape. He was curious about the man, and he would welcome any distraction from the other emotion he was constantly experiencing. "I...I feel like...we see each other every day, and yet we don't know each other very well, do we?"

"No, we don't." Snape's gaze met his own, and then he looked away. "You should get to class, Potter. Here is a pass so you don't get in trouble." Snape scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to him.

"Thank you. Again. For everything," Harry said, and left, unaware of the Potions Master's curious gaze following him until he turned out of sight.

* * *

After a long, boring day of finals, Severus sat down on his sofa with a good book. He found it a bit hard to concentrate after a while, because his thoughts kept drifting back to Potter. Wondering how he was, and what he was doing. If he had gotten any sleep the night before.

Severus hoped his friends were taking care of him and making sure he stayed healthy. He hoped the potion would work for Potter tonight.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at his door. "I'm coming," Severus said, and opened it seconds later. "Lucius?"

"Severus," the blond haired man said. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yes, well I've been busy," Severus said. A few months ago, Lucius and Severus had gone out for a drink and then spent the night together at Severus's rooms in Hogwarts. They had done this a few more times, but felt nothing romantic for each other. Lucius was getting over an unsuccessful marriage, and Severus felt quite lonely, having never married at all. He hadn't had many relationships in his life either.

"May I spend the night?" Lucius asked.

"Fine," Severus said. "Do you want anything to-" he started, but was interrupted by Lucius's lips on his. Severus felt the other man's hands on his hips, and closed his eyes to try to enjoy the kissing. The kiss quickly heated up and Severus mumbled, "Bedroom."

Lucius didn't argue as Severus pulled him towards his room.

* * *

"You have to eat, Harry."

Harry felt a slight twinge of annoyance at the sound of Hermione's insistent voice. "I just can't stop thinking about what Professor Snape said." He pushed his steak around on his plate and picked up a bite of mashed potatoes, staring at them without interest.

"I can't believe he's being nice to you," Ron said. "He really said you could live with him?"

"Yep, and it was Dumbledore's idea apparently. I wonder what they talked about without me," Harry said.

"Do you know what exactly Dumbledore said about the Dursleys?" Hermione asked.

"No," Harry replied, finally putting a bite of potatoes in his mouth and ignoring Hermione's relieved look. The potatoes were good and still warm, so he put some pepper on them for more flavor and ate more. "I hope he didn't go into detail. I'm embarrassed enough as it is."

"Maybe Professor Snape is just trying to find out more about you," Hermione said. "You and him barely even talk, aside from the last few days.

"I just don't want him to find out that my aunt and uncle...abused me," Harry said, keeping his voice down at the last part. "He already thinks I'm weak as it is."

"I'm sure he doesn't think that," said Hermione.

" _Hermione_. He's Professor Snape," Harry pointed out. "Although, I get the feeling he's not who he lets everyone else think he is. In private, he's...not exactly sweet, but less intimidating and maybe even nice. He did make me a sleeping potion."

"And he offered to let you live with him," Hermione reminded him. "Did he say if you can have friends over?"

"No, but I'll ask him." Harry took a bite of his steak, looking up at the empty seat at the staff table where a certain dark haired man usually sat.

* * *

A while later, Severus and Lucius were laying in Severus's bed making out. The Potions Master enjoyed his nights with Lucius well enough, but sometimes he wished that he felt more of an emotional connection to the other man. Lucius was good in bed, but Severus never felt much emotionally.

Lucius pulled back from the kiss and Severus stared up at him questioningly. "Is something wrong?" Severus asked.

"Well, this isn't really the only reason I came over here," Lucius said. "As much as I am having fun, I have some family issues to deal with."

Severus sat up and pulled the blankets over himself. "What is the other reason you came here?" he asked.

"I need you to watch Draco this summer," Lucius said. "Narcissa and I are going through some...legal issues-"

"You and Narcissa are officially divorced, right?" Severus asked. He probably should have made sure before sleeping with Lucius again.

"Yes," Lucius said. "But we're in a custody battle over Draco, and I don't want Draco to know and I also don't want him sticking his nose in the custody battle. You know how nosy he can get."

Severus did. Draco was his godson, and sometimes Severus wasn't entirely comfortable around the boy. Draco was very blunt, and while Severus loved him, he scared Severus a little. "I'm sorry, Lucius, but I already have someone staying with me this summer."

"Who?"

"Harry Potter," Severus said.

 _"Harry Potter?"_ Lucius looked surprised. "I thought you hated the boy."

"I don't know him," Severus said. "And he's going through a hard time right now. Albus wanted me to take him in."

"I see," Lucius said. "Can Draco still stay with you? I know he hates Potter, but maybe you could find a way for them to live together."

Severus sighed. "I only have two bedrooms, but I'll see what I can do. Maybe I can get a fold-out couch."

"All right," Lucius said, and leaned down for another kiss. They lay there kissing for a few moments, Severus's naked body pressed against Lucius's. Severus took Lucius's hand and put it between his legs, earning a gasp from the blond. Severus closed his eyes as Lucius stroked him and he felt hot lips against his neck.

"You do mean you'll get a couch for Potter, right?" Lucius asked.

"Hmm?" Severus asked, wishing Lucius would keep touching him.

"Draco needs his own room. I'm not going to let Potter make him uncomfortable."

Severus's eyes snapped open. "What?"

"You understand-" Lucius began.

"Are you serious?" Severus glared at the blond and pushed Lucius off of him. "Get out of my bed."

Lucius stumbled out of Severus's bed, and the Potions Master wrapped the blankets around him. "What's your problem?"

"What is YOUR problem?" Severus felt a rush of anger. "You don't even know Harry and you're assuming Draco is better than him!" In his fury, Severus didn't even realize that he used the boy's first name.

"Growing soft, are we Severus?" Lucius smirked. "I need you to watch Draco. I don't care what happens between us, but Draco will not be in the middle of Narcissa's drama."

Severus clenched his jaw, and he could see black spots in his vision, he was so angry. He could hardly believe this. "Draco will sleep wherever I want him to sleep, and he will do whatever I tell him, regardless of whether I have your permission. And this is the last time you will be staying with me. GET OUT."

Lucius backed away as Severus talked - or more accurately, yelled - and ran out of the room half dressed. Severus couldn't help but smirk at the sight, despite his anger. Lucius deserved it.

Severus realized that he had just defended Harry Potter, and wondered what was becoming of him. Maybe he was growing soft.

But was that such a bad thing?

* * *

 **AN: Hope you all liked the new chapter! Updates soon. I have a lot of ideas for this one :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Acadia Arneson: I'm glad you liked it. Thanks!**

 **ALiveTodaytoWrite: Yay thank you!**

* * *

A few days later, Harry knocked on the door to Snape's private quarters. He'd never been into any professor's private rooms before, and felt a little uncomfortable. But Snape had told him to meet him here, so he was going through with that.

Snape opened the door. "Come in, Mr. Potter-"

"Harry," he interrupted. "If we're living together, then you should call me Harry."

"All right, Harry," Snape said. "Then call me Severus."

Harry smiled. "Severus." The name felt natural on his lips, and he liked it.

"Now that we're on a first name basis, there's something I should probably tell you. You know Draco Malfoy?" Severus asked.

"Of course," said Harry, making a face at the mention of Malfoy.

"Well, I don't know if you are aware that he is my godson."

"Malfoy's your godson?" Harry felt his jaw drop.

Severus looked slightly amused. "Huh. I suppose you didn't know. Anyway, his father is going through some legal issues right now and he doesn't want Draco caught in the middle. So he will be living with us as well. You don't have to get along with him, just live with him and try not to kill each other."

A laugh escaped Harry's lips, and he realized that he hadn't been given much reason to laugh in the past few weeks. "I think I can live with that," Harry said.

The corner of Severus's mouth twitched. "Good," he said. "Then we will Apparate to my flat."

* * *

When they got to the small flat, Malfoy was already there. Harry groaned as he set down his trunk and Hedwig's cage. "Great. As if my life couldn't get any more depressing."

Severus looked like he was trying not to laugh as Malfoy said, "Just stay out of my way, Potter. I want to spend the summer hanging out with my friends, understand?"

"I understand you're a total arse," Harry retorted.

"Okay! That's enough, both of you," Severus said, putting a hand on Harry's arm. Harry's heart skipped a beat and he noticed Malfoy looking. His eyes narrowed at Harry in suspicion. "Harry, I have a fold out couch for you in my bedroom. I'm sorry, but I only have two bedrooms, and I really don't need a fight with Draco's father over sleeping arrangements. We aren't on the best of terms at the moment."

"'My father will hear about this'," Harry mimicked quite dramatically. Malfoy's mouth fell open while Severus snickered, his onyx eyes glittering with amusement.

"Let me show you your room - well, our room, I should say," Severus said. Harry blushed at that as he followed Severus down the hall. Malfoy shut himself into his room and Harry followed Severus into the room beside Malfoy's. The fold out couch was already set up as far away from Severus's bed as possible.

"Is there anything you need?" Severus asked him.

Harry tore his gaze away from the Potions Master's bed. "No, I'm okay. Thank you, Severus."

"You're welcome." Severus touched his shoulder and Harry's heart sped up.

"Severus, can I ask you something?"

A smirk. "I don't know, can you?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "May I," he corrected himself before continuing. "How much did Dumbledore tell you about my aunt and uncle?"

"He didn't say much," Severus said. "Just that you had a hard life with them. What did they do to you?"

"Well...they made me learn how to cook for them when I was really young, and whenever they went out somewhere they would almost always leave me behind. And Uncle Vernon's sister had this awful dog who would chase me around and growl at me. And they would punish me for things I didn't even realize I could do! Like...one time my hair grew back in one night and I had no idea how it happened. And another time I somehow ended up on the school roof when a group of bullies were chasing me." Harry's face burned in embarrassment.

Severus was staring at him in horror. "I didn't know," he said, and sounded almost ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"It's over now," Harry said. "Thanks to you." He smiled.

Severus smiled back. "I'm glad I could help," he said.

After a moment of silence, Harry said, "So, what's there to do around here?"

"Well, there's Diagon Alley, and the London Eye is a few blocks away," Severus said.

Harry gasped. "The London Eye? I've never been!"

"Really?" Severus asked. "Do you want to go?"

"That sounds fun." Harry smiled.

* * *

As Harry and Severus walked to the London Eye, Harry asked, "So, what do you like to do? Besides make potions."

"I read, and cook, and watch a few plays and films," Severus answered.

"Yeah, I noticed all the books you have," Harry said. "You must read a lot."

"I enjoy it," Severus replied. "I'd ask what you like, but I think I already know. Quidditch, and friends, and pranking?"

Harry laughed. "Pretty much," he said. "Maybe you do know me a bit." He gasped. "Hey, I have an idea. "What if I read one of your books, and in return I teach you how to play a prank?"

Severus snorted. "Me, play pranks? Can you picture me doing that?"

"No, and that's exactly why you should. Because no one would ever suspect it was you. And you could say, prank Draco, or his father. Or one of your students next term," Harry pointed out. "Just not me," he added quickly.

Severus smirked at that. "I make no promises about not pranking you. It would be a great source of entertainment."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

They arrived at the London Eye, and continued to talk as they waited in line. But all conversation was halted as Harry glanced down at London. "Wow."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Severus said.

"It's amazing." Harry realized his mouth was hanging open, and he shut it quickly before Severus noticed. It was dusk outside, and Harry could see the glittering lights of the city. It was absolutely breathtaking.

"Harry?" Severus asked, and the Gryffindor turned to look at him. "There's, er...something you should probably know if you're going to live with me."

"What?" Harry asked.

"I'm...well, I'm gay." To Harry's surprise, Severus reddened. "I just thought you should know before we spend a night together."

"Oh...Severus, it's okay," said Harry. "I would never judge you for who you are. And we're sleeping in different beds."

"Good. I'm glad you are comfortable around me," Severus said. "I've been hoping to change things between us."

Harry smiled. "Me, too. I hope we can be friends. And maybe I can help you find someone," he added. "Unless you're already dating someone, that is."

"I'm not," Severus told him.

"You know Severus, I really like talking to you," Harry said.

"Good." They sat in silence for a few moments before Severus asked, "Would you like to get something to eat after this?"

"That sounds nice," Harry agreed.

* * *

It wasn't until late that Harry and Severus returned to the flat. Malfoy was furious as he stormed out into the hall. "Where WERE you?" he demanded. "You've been gone for hours!"

"I told you we were leaving, Draco," Severus said. "It's not my fault you were blasting your music."

"And you don't have any food in here. I was starving!" Malfoy exclaimed.

"Leftovers?" Harry offered, holding out the boxes of unfinished food.

Malfoy sighed and took the food from Harry. "Stay away from me, Potter," he said, and disappeared into his room.

"Already was!" Harry shouted back, and Malfoy slammed the door in response. "Ugh. What is his problem?"

"It's the whole Malfoy family," Severus said. "Lucius is just as bad."

"So, what happened between you and Lucius Malfoy?" Harry asked. At Severus's raised eyebrow, he said, "You said you and Malfoy's father aren't on the best of terms, and now you're saying Lucius is bad. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Severus said. "That whole family just exhausts me. I love Draco, but honestly. There's just too much drama."

"I understand," Harry said. "If you want drama, you should meet the Dursleys. Dudley's a spoiled brat, and I do all the hard work and I never got anything from them. Not even a thank you."

Severus shook his head. "What an awful family," he said. "Well, I'm glad I could help."

"I owe you," Harry said, and Severus looked at him in surprise. "I would have been even more depressed living with them for another summer. Dumbledore hasn't let me live with anyone else except S-Sirius-" Harry's voice broke "-not even the Weasleys. For some reason, he's letting me stay with you."

Severus's expression was unreadable. "It's not a big deal," he said.

"It means a lot to me," Harry insisted. "Thank you," he said again. "I've felt really alone this last month, and it's been hard. But, now I'm actually looking forward to this summer." Harry hugged Severus, feeling the other man stiffen in his arms. But a moment later, he felt a pair of arms wrapping around him as well. They stood like that for a long moment, and then Harry reluctantly pulled away. "I'm glad we're friends now."

Severus was staring at him in shock, his onyx eyes wide. "I am as well," he agreed.

"I'm going to bed," Harry decided. He was quite tired after the long day. "Are you coming?"

Severus reddened. "Er, I think I'll stay up and read a bit."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Severus echoed. Harry turned and suddenly noticed Malfoy standing in the doorway of his bedroom, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Harry wondered if Malfoy had caught them hugging, and found he didn't care. "Goodnight, Malfoy," Harry said, smirking as the blond's jaw dropped. He said no more as he went into the bedroom and closed the door.

* * *

Severus watched Harry and Draco go into their bedrooms, leaving him alone out in the living room. He picked up a book and sat down in his comfortable chair, but was unable to concentrate. He found his mind drifting back to a pair of arms wrapping around him.

When was the last time someone had hugged him? Albus, perhaps? Severus couldn't remember.

And he was beginning to question everything he knew about Harry. The boy had been wrong, Severus didn't know him at all! He'd just assumed Harry had been a spoiled brat but had never bothered to find out about his past until now. Everyone knew Harry loved Quidditch and that he was outgoing. But how many people truly knew Harry? Severus knew he was not one of them.

Severus had meant what he'd said to Harry on the London Eye, about wanting to change things between them. Even though he was embarrassed to admit it to Harry, he'd had a wonderful time with him tonight, and hoped that sometime in the near future, Harry would be able to trust him.

* * *

 **AN: Thank you to all who favorited/followed/reviewed this story! And to everyone who read it as well :) Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Updates soon. Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**CyberWolf SgtJay: Thank you! And Snarry is one of my favorite pairings too, if not my favorite**

 **Acadia Arneson: Thanks, hope you like the new chapter!**

 **furumi: Thanks!**

 **ALiveTodaytoWrite: Thank you!**

 **BeholdtheMetatron1946: Thank you! I'm not sure if I can work it in my story but I'll certainly try!**

* * *

Harry woke up the next morning gasping for breath, his covers drenched in sweat. He threw them off, reaching for the glass of water beside his bed and gulping it down. He had had a nightmare about Sirius. Again.

It took him a few moments to notice Severus sitting up in his bed. "Harry, are you all right?"

"I...I must have forgotten to take my potion last night," he realized.

"Oh," Severus said. He got out of bed and Harry realized the Potions Master wasn't wearing a shirt. He flushed deeply and turned away, and was definitely not looking at Severus's bare skin. "Harry?"

Harry looked back at him to realize the Slytherin was staring at him questioningly. _Look at his FACE, Harry, not his body,_ he told himself.

"Harry? My eyes are up here." Severus was standing right in front of him now.

Harry blinked, and realized Severus was smirking. "Oh, sorry, I was just-" he started.

Thankfully, Malfoy knocked on the door, interrupting them. "Severus, do you have breakfast?" he asked.

"Yes. There should be cereal in the kitchen," Severus answered. To Harry, he said, "I have to go to Hogwarts. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

"Of course." Harry yawned. "I'm just going to sleep for a while longer."

"All right." Harry noticed Severus's concerned look as the other man got dressed and left him alone in the bedroom.

* * *

Severus burst into Albus's office, startling the Headmaster. "WHY did you do that to him?!" he demanded.

"Severus, what is the matter?" Albus asked, a shocked expression on his face. "Please sit."

"You knew what Harry was going through at the Dursleys' and you didn't do anything about it! You didn't care," Severus said. He was shaking with anger. "Why?"

"I wanted him to grow up in a place where no one would recognize him, where he could grow up without being known for what he did than rather for who he was as a person," Albus said.

"And where no one would love him," Severus said. "And you knew it."

"He told you," Albus said. He smiled. "I'm glad Harry has someone he can confide in."

"Yes, now," Severus growled. "But for eleven years - years, Albus - he had no one."

"Severus," Albus said, sighing. "It was a hard choice for me to make."

"It was the wrong one! No wonder he's depressed," Severus said.

"Yes," Albus agreed. "He has lost many people that he loves. You will notice that he has good days and bad days. On his worst days, he won't want to talk to anyone. But now he has you, Severus. He's not alone anymore."

Severus swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm not good enough for him. I don't deserve to be his friend."

"Oh Severus." Albus put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You have always been a passionate, kind person. It just depends on who you choose to show to others. You are the only one in control of that."

Severus bit his lip. "I'm scared, Albus."

"I know." Albus patted his shoulder. "But Harry is a sweet, accepting person. You will find you had nothing to worry about."

* * *

When Severus returned to his flat, Draco was nowhere to be seen and Harry was sitting in Severus's chair reading. The Potions Master raised an eyebrow at that. "You're actually reading?"

"I got bored. Malfoy's out with friends," Harry informed him. "This book is really good."

"Hmm," Severus said in surprise.

"So what were you doing at Hogwarts?" Harry asked.

"Oh. I had to talk to the Headmaster," Severus said. "About classes for next semester," he quickly lied.

"Sounds boring," Harry said, and went back to the book he was reading.

Severus eyed the book. "What do you think of the book?"

Harry and Severus talked for a long time about the book. After a while, Malfoy walked into the flat, the door slamming behind him. "Draco?" Severus asked. "What's wrong?"

"Blaise and Reyna, that's what's wrong!" Malfoy shouted. "Blaise knew I liked Reyna and now they're dating. Ugh. I never should have been friends with that bastard."

Severus rolled his eyes as Malfoy slammed the door to his room. "Teen drama," Severus said, shaking his head.

"Hey, 'teen drama' is hard to get through," Harry said.

"I know," Severus said. "I was a teen once."

"A long time ago," Harry said, smirking.

Severus glared. "Excuse me, I am only thirty six!" Harry laughed, and Severus's glare intensified. "I can kick you out, you know."

"I know," Harry said. "I also know that you won't." He grinned.

Severus shook his head, and they continued their conversation about the book.

* * *

The Potions Master soon learned that Harry did indeed have good and bad days. On a good day he was full of energy and conversation, and wanted to go out. On a bad day, he would mope around with dark circles under his eyes.

The Potions Master didn't let Harry forget about his potion again. The boy's sleep was important, and it was scary waking up to Harry's screaming. A week into Harry's stay, Severus had had to wake him up because Harry was thrashing around so much.

Draco ignored them, which made Severus angry. He thought about forcing Draco to get to know Harry, but they would likely just end up strangling each other. Severus thought it best to stay out of it, and focus on his friendship with Harry.

They went to Diagon Alley a lot, because Harry loved it there. He dragged Severus into the Quidditch shop and Severus dragged him into the bookstore.

One evening, Harry and Severus were at dinner and Harry said, "Severus, you should try some of my Butterbeer."

"I don't want to." Severus folded his arms.

Harry just rolled his eyes. "Come on, Sev, if you don't like it, you don't have to drink it again. Just try it."

"All right, fine." Severus took Harry's drink and sipped it hesitantly. He raised an eyebrow at the strong, delicious taste. "This is amazing."

Harry laughed and took back his drink. "See? What did I tell you."

When they were walking home, Harry interrupted their comfortable silence. "Severus, can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Severus looked over at him.

"When did you realize you were gay?" Harry asked.

"It was when I had my first kiss," Severus said. "It was with a girl, and it felt like kissing my sister. She was one of my closest friends. I just wasn't interested in women after that, and then I began to date men." He looked at Harry curiously. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering," Harry said.

"Harry, if you're questioning your sexuality, that is completely normal," Severus reassured him. "Especially at your age. Some people don't realize they're gay until they're thirty."

"I know. I was just curious," Harry said quickly.

Severus thought there was more to the story than that, but he didn't press Harry. After they walked in silence for a while longer, Harry asked, "What if I think guys are attractive?" he asked.

"There's no problem with that," Severus said. "Anyone in particular?"

Harry blushed a bright shade of red. "No."

"All right. Well, if you ever want to talk about it, you can talk to me," Severus said. He wondered if Harry was gay and what had led the boy to think so. And he also wondered who Harry found attractive.

Severus felt a twinge of something that he didn't realize until later was jealousy.

* * *

 **AN: Hope you all liked the chapter! Updates soon. Please review**


	5. Chapter 5

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**

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* * *

"Severus, we're going out tonight!" Harry said one evening.

"Where?" Severus poked his head out of the bedroom. "Diagon Alley again?"

"I'm taking you to a nightclub," Harry said. "To meet someone."

"A _nightclub_?" Severus looked skeptical. "But I don't want to date anyone."

"Why not?" Harry went into the bedroom and started rifling through Severus's closet, looking for some nice evening clothes. He held up a black, button-down shirt and a dark blue tie. "This would look awesome on you." Harry walked up to Severus and held the shirt and tie up to him.

Severus rolled his eyes, but then his gaze caught on Harry's wrist. The boy's sleeve had fallen, revealing several scars on his wrist. Quickly, the Potions Master grabbed Harry's hand and looked down at it before Harry could stop him.

Harry's heart pounded. He hadn't wanted Severus to discover his scars. "What are these?" Severus asked, gently running his fingertip over the scars. Harry shivered at the touch.

Harry sighed and decided he should probably tell Severus the truth. "When I first lost Sirius, I didn't know how to cope. So...I started cutting myself," he admitted. Severus gasped. "When I went to live with you, I stopped. I haven't cut myself once since running into you that night at Hogwarts."

Severus's eyes glistened with tears. "Why would you do that to yourself?" he asked.

Harry stared at Severus in shock, startled at seeing the Potions Master in tears. He had never once seen Severus cry, or even show this much emotion. Harry realized that Severus must really care about him, and he felt a fluttering in his heart.

"Severus-" Malfoy's voice came from the hallway, and Severus and Harry both jumped and turned to the blond. Malfoy smirked. "Oh, sorry, did I interrupt something?"

Harry wondered what that was supposed to mean as Severus said, "Did you need something, Draco?"

"Yes!" Malfoy exclaimed. "Care to explain to me why I am living with you?"

"Because your arsehole father asked me to take you in?" Severus suggested, and Harry fought back a smirk.

"Really? Or was it because my parents are in a custody battle over me?" Malfoy shouted.

Severus winced. Harry watched the exchange between the two, feeling awkward. He hadn't known the reason why Malfoy was staying with them, but now he began to feel sorry for the other boy. "Draco-"

"No. I can't believe you entertained my parents like that," Malfoy snarled. "Keeping that from me was completely uncalled for. You should have told me what was going on!" Malfoy stalked away, and Harry debated going after him.

"Is that why you and Malfoy's father fought?" Harry asked.

To his surprise, Severus reddened. "Not exactly," he said.

"Why did you, then?" asked Harry.

Severus sighed. "We fought over you," he admitted.

Harry gasped. " _What?_ Why?"

Severus told him what happened, and Harry realized his mouth had fallen open. "That was nice of you to defend me," Harry said. "Thank you."

"Lucius was being an arse," Severus said. "He deserved it." He cleared his throat and wouldn't meet Harry's gaze. "So, shall we go?"

"Sure. I just have to do one thing first," Harry said.

* * *

Harry knocked on Malfoy's door, hoping the other boy wouldn't ignore him or worse, strangle him. "Draco?"

"Go away," Malfoy said sharply.

Harry pushed open the door to Malfoy's room. "I'm sorry about your parents," he said.

"I'm not mad about them," Malfoy said. "I'm mad at _Severus_. I expected that from my parents, but I didn't think Severus would keep such a huge secret from me."

"He didn't want you in the middle of all that drama," Harry suggested. Truthfully, he didn't know exactly what was going on, but he could try to make Malfoy feel better. "He cares about you."

"Why do you even care, Potter?" Malfoy asked.

"Because I think it sucks," Harry said. "And I'm sorry."

"Thanks." Malfoy's tone was devoid of emotion.

"I know you don't like me, but you should come with us to the nightclub," Harry said. "It'll be entertaining, at least."

Malfoy grinned.

* * *

The nightclub Harry had chosen was split into two halves, a bar and a restaurant. A live band was playing and people were dancing. "Go over to the bar," Harry told Severus. "Malfoy and I will be in the restaurant." All ages were allowed into the restaurant, but the bar was 18 and up. Harry had convinced Malfoy to come with them, having seen how upset the other boy was. Maybe watching his godfather trying to get a boyfriend would cheer him up.

Harry and Malfoy ordered food as they watched Severus at the bar. He was talking to someone, and when he looked over at Harry, the Gryffindor smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

"Why are you helping him find a boyfriend?" Malfoy asked.

"What do you mean?" Harry turned to him.

"Well, it just seems that _you_ like him," Malfoy said.

"What?" Harry gasped. "I mean, I don't like him. As more than a friend, I mean. I just like him as a friend." He knew he was rambling now, so he shut up.

"Whatever you say." Malfoy smirked and turned his attention back to his godfather. He was slow dancing with the guy he had been talking to, and Harry realized that he was clenching his hands into fists.

Did he really like Severus like that? How had that happened? Harry sighed. He couldn't tell Severus. It would ruin their friendship.

"So you're saying _that_ doesn't bother you?" Malfoy asked, a smirk on his face.

"Huh?" Harry looked up at Severus and the stranger, who were now kissing. Harry felt his heart sinking. Ignoring his food - and Malfoy - he got up from the table and went over to Severus.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Severus hissed to him. The guy in his arms stared.

"Will you dance with me, Severus?" Harry looked pointedly at the guy, who left.

"I thought you brought me here to meet someone! I find someone, and you send him away?" Severus shook his head.

Harry couldn't get the image of Severus kissing someone else out of his head. He took Severus's hands and pulled the older man against him. Severus gasped, but wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and held him close. He met Severus's gaze, and felt a warm fluttering in his heart as he gazed into Severus's eyes.

That definitely confirmed it. He was in love with Severus.

* * *

Severus felt confused as he and Harry turned in slow circles. Harry's arms were around his neck and Severus couldn't stop gazing into his emerald eyes. They were so like Lily's, even though Severus knew Harry was not his mother.

And Severus couldn't get Harry's scars out of his head. His heart had broke when he saw them, when he ran his thumb over the raised skin. He wouldn't let Harry cut himself ever again.

Harry pulled him even closer, and Severus gasped quietly. Their gazes were locked and it felt strangely intimate. It was like they were the only ones in the room, and, and Severus could feel Harry's warm breath on his lips.

The slow song, "Landslide", ended and a fast song came on. Severus reluctantly pulled away from Harry's embrace, the moment over.

Harry and Severus went to the table where Draco was sitting. He and Harry exchanged a look that Severus couldn't read, and Harry reddened slightly as they sat down to eat.

* * *

"You have to tell Severus how you feel about him," Malfoy said to Harry the next day.

Harry paced the living room. "I can't!" he whispered. "Severus will _kill_ me. And our friendship will be over. I can't let that happen."

Malfoy sighed. "You both are idiots," he said. "Severus was looking at you exactly the way you were looking at him."

"So staring at each other is more romantic than a kiss?" Harry said. "Severus _kissed_ that guy! He looked like he was enjoying it. And it made me feel...I don't know...jealous, and wrong." Harry still felt a pang whenever he thought about it.

"So then kiss him yourself," Malfoy suggested.

Harry's heart fluttered at the thought of kissing Severus. He wanted to so badly. He wanted to run his hands through that thick dark hair and feel Severus's body pressed against his own. It wasn't fair that Severus had kissed a complete stranger, while he was close with Harry and didn't even notice him like that.

"Hello? Earth to Harry." Malfoy snapped his fingers in front of Harry's face.

Harry blinked. "Oh, sorry."

Malfoy laughed. "Quit daydreaming about my godfather. I know just the thing to get him to pay attention to you."

"What?" asked Harry dubiously, wondering if he might regret this.

* * *

Severus was sitting in his chair reading when Harry and Draco returned from shopping. He hadn't known where the two boys went, but he soon found out as he glanced up at them. Harry was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans that fit him quite nicely. Very nicely, indeed.

Draco was smirking and Harry was blushing as he met Severus's gaze. "Hey," said the Gryffindor casually.

"Where did you get those?" Severus asked in shock.

No one asked Severus to clarify. Both boys clearly knew what he meant. "Oh. Draco took me shopping," Harry informed him casually. "I needed some new clothes."

Severus gawked at him, several fantasies developing in his head involving Harry and those jeans, and Harry without the jeans.

Harry walked towards the hall, giving Severus a perfect view of his behind. He couldn't stop staring, and felt his heart pounding quickly. Did Harry get those jeans just to torture Severus?

Or perhaps he got them to torture Draco, Severus thought. Now that he thought of it, Harry and Draco had become friends quite suddenly. And Harry had commented about finding guys attractive the other day. Could Harry be attracted to Draco?

Severus wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"Harry?" Severus appeared in the doorway of Draco's room. "Can I talk to you alone for a moment?"

"Sure." Harry followed him out into the hall. "Everything okay?"

"Do you like Draco?" Severus asked.

"Well, yeah, he's cool once you get to know him-"

"No." Severus rolled his eyes. "I mean, are you attracted to him?"

"What?" Harry laughed. "No. No, I'm not attracted to Draco, why would you think that?"

"Because you two became friends quite fast," Severus said, still not convinced. "And you said the other day that you thought guys are attractive. So, I just assumed."

Harry blushed. "Draco's cool, but we're just friends," he reassured him. "And I'm available," he added, confusing Severus. Was Harry... _flirting_ with him?

"Harry, I want you to tell me the truth," Severus said. "The _whole_ truth." He tried to keep his tone gentle but also insistent.

Harry sighed. "It's you," he said in a small voice. "I have feelings for you. I'm... _attracted_ to you." His tone was flat and he wouldn't even look at Severus. Harry looked absolutely mortified.

Severus stared at him in shock. "Harry..." Honestly, he didn't even know what to say. Harry had feelings for him? And what about Severus did Harry find attractive? Severus didn't think he was very attractive.

"I couldn't stand seeing you kiss that guy last night," Harry confessed. "That's why I asked you to dance with me. I was...jealous. I...I wanted it to be me kissing you, not some stranger."

"I'm sorry," was all Severus could think of to say. His heart fluttered at just the thought of his lips against Harry's. But he knew he couldn't have Harry. The boy was his student, and fifteen years old. Severus would get fired.

"Everything is better when I'm with you," Harry said. "I'm..." He sighed, and looked so sad that Severus felt his heart breaking. "I feel a connection with you."

The room blurred in front of Severus. "Harry, it has been a privilege being your friend these past few weeks. But that's all we can ever be. Friends. You are underage and I could get in trouble. We both could." You need to forget about him, Severus told himself. You can't have him. You're not even deserving of him. Harry deserves so much more.

"I don't care about that-" Harry started.

"You should. You're the Boy Who Lived," Severus said. "Do you think the media would keep something like this private if they found out about us?"

To his surprise, Harry glared. "And all this time, I thought you treated me the same as everyone else because you saw me as just another person, not as the savior of the Wizarding World.

What? Severus blinked. "Wait, I didn't mean-" Severus started, wincing when Harry stormed into Draco's room and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Draco was unsure of what to do as Harry stalked into his room and flung the door shut, tears streaming down his cheeks. He hadn't had much experience with real friends before, and he was beginning to think of Harry as a friend. But Severus was his godfather. Whose side was he supposed to choose?

Draco sat down beside Harry on the edge of his bed and awkwardly patted his shoulder. He figured he owed Harry for helping him the night before. "Don't worry about it," he said.

"I was wrong about him," Harry said. "He doesn't think of me as a friend. He thinks of me as a bloody savior, just like everyone else."

"Not everyone. I think you're an annoying prat, remember?" Draco joked.

Harry rolled his eyes and shoved him playfully. "You're not helping."

Draco shoved him right back, but after a minute they both turned serious again. "I think of you as a friend," he admitted.

Harry looked at him in surprise, and then he looked ashamed. "I'm sorry I rejected your friendship when we first got to Hogwarts."

"Honestly?" Draco was surprised at Harry's apology. "I've felt guilty about that for a while now. That wasn't the way to ask for your friendship. I could've asked without insulting Weasley. So...I'm sorry. And tell Ron I'm sorry."

"You can tell Ron yourself," Harry said.

Draco thought that was fair, considering how he'd treated Harry and his friends over the years. "I will," he said. "And I'll make it up to you by helping you get my godfather. But you have to promise you won't hurt him."

"Of course I won't," Harry said. "I would never."

"Good. Now let's get brainstorming," Draco said.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry it took so long to update! I had a proposal to write on top of this so it took forever. Hope you all liked the new chapter and please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

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* * *

Harry and Draco had a plan. Harry wasn't sure if he liked the plan, but at least they had one.

"Come here, Harry, it's the only way to make Severus jealous," Draco said. "Unless you have a better idea."

He didn't. "You won't strangle me, will you?" he asked.

Draco laughed. "Probably not."

"Probably?"

The blond boy rolled his eyes and walked over to Harry, pulling him close just as Severus walked out of his room. Without warning, Draco's lips descended onto Harry's, and he heard a gasp. The kiss was nice, but Harry didn't feel anything except friendship, although he tried to. He pressed against Draco, trying to deepen the kiss or at least look like he was, but the truth was that he just didn't feel more than friendship. He hadn't even been friends with the other boy for long.

"It's not going to make me change my mind," was all Severus said. When Harry looked at him, his expression was flat, there was no emotion in his face or his voice.

Was it possible that Severus really just didn't care?

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat as Severus went into his bedroom without another word to Harry. Tears filled Harry's eyes, and he knew that by telling Severus how he felt, he had ruined a very brief but wonderful friendship.

* * *

After staying up late working on a potion, Severus yawned and stood from his chair. He dumped the contents of the potion into vials before heading to bed.

He glanced over at Harry's bed, thinking at first that he was asleep, but his stomach dropped when he realized that Harry's wrist and the area around it was covered with blood. Severus heard someone scream, and then he realized that it was him. "Harry!"

Draco burst into the room and gasped when he saw Harry on the bed. "What happened?!"

"He cut himself again," Severus said, the room blurring. "It's all my fault, this is all my fault, I'm so sorry, Harry."

* * *

"We have to get him to St. Mungo's," Draco said.

"Of course!" Severus exclaimed, picking up the unconscious Harry. They Apparated to the hospital and a doctor quickly came over and helped them.

"What happened?!" he asked.

Severus explained and the doctor took them to a small room. He wrapped up Harry's wrist in bandages and gave him a potion. "He isn't dead and it is not likely that he will die," the doctor said. "He is very lucky."

Severus sighed in relief and sank down into a chair beside the bed. He felt Draco's hand on his shoulder and saw the doctor's sympathetic gaze. "The best thing to do now is let him sleep, and keep him here overnight just to make sure. If nothing else happens, he will be fine to go home in the morning."

"Thank you, Doctor," Severus heard Draco say, and the curtain closed behind him. "Do you want some time alone with Harry?"

It took the Potions Master a moment to realize Draco was speaking to him. "Oh. Yes, I would like that."

"It's not your fault, you know," Draco said before leaving the room.

Severus sighed as he looked at Harry. "It _is_ my fault," he insisted once he was alone. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I'm so sorry." Harry had already been depressed, and Severus had made it ten times worse by rejecting Harry. He repeated the words over and over, as if it could fix what had happened. After a while, Severus realized his face was wet with tears, and he wondered how long he had been crying. The crying alarmed him because he couldn't remember the last time he had cried. Most likely when he had found Lily dead, sixteen years ago.

Severus wiped the tears from his face and glanced down at Harry's hand, the one that wasn't bandaged. He sniffled, a strange sound coming from him, and laced his fingers through Harry's. The boy's skin was soft and his hand was warm in Severus's. The Potions Master brushed his thumb against Harry's, the tears streaming down his cheeks again.

"Don't," a voice said, and it was a minute before Severus realized it was Harry's. Severus gasped as he felt a finger brushing against his cheeks, wiping away his tears. Harry was staring at him in surprise. Severus must have looked terrible.

"You don't know how much you scared me," Severus said. "I had no idea if you were dead, I...I thought...I thought I would lose you. Why would you cut yourself again?"

"Because I keep losing people," Harry said. "First my parents, then Cedric, then Sirius, then you."

Severus felt his heart breaking. "You haven't lost me," he said, and Harry glanced down at their joined hands as if he was just now noticing them. "You will _never_ lose me." He didn't know how to explain his feelings to Harry, how the thought of losing Harry made him want to stop living. How Harry made him feel so many things. How he had stolen Severus's heart.

"I should let you get some sleep," was all he said, and stood from his chair.

Harry grabbed his hand as he turned to leave. "No, wait. Please stay," he said. "Please," he repeated when Severus didn't say anything.

"All right," Severus agreed, and Harry sighed in relief as he made room for him. The Potions Master squeezed into the small bed beside Harry, who snuggled against him. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and was asleep in an instant.

* * *

Harry woke up the next morning having slept better than he had in a long time, even without his potion. Which he hadn't taken last night, he realized.

He lifted his head and glanced at Severus, who was asleep beside him. Harry's bandaged wrist hurt slightly, and wondered if the doctor had any pain medication that he could take.

"Up already?" Harry heard, and looked down to see Severus awake. "Did you sleep well?"

"Actually I did," Harry said. "I slept better than I have in a long time. Even without the potion."

"I'm glad to hear it." Severus sat up and yawned. "The doctor said we could go back home in the morning if everything went well, which it did."

"Okay," Harry said, and got out of bed. Severus followed him and they went into the small waiting room, where Draco was sprawled out on a couch, fast asleep.

They woke him up, and after getting pain medication from the doctor, they Apparated back to the flat.

Severus wouldn't let Harry out of his sight all day, making him sit on the couch in his office while he worked on a potion. Harry tried to assure the Potions Master that he was fine, and that he wanted to go hang out with Draco in Diagon Alley, but Severus wouldn't budge. "I won't cut myself again," Harry said. "Really."

"Harry, you almost _died_ last night," Severus said, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence.

"You don't trust Draco to keep an eye on me?" Harry asked, looking up from his book. "If you won't let me go off on my own, then we should at least do something fun together."

Severus raised an eyebrow at that.

Harry blushed, wishing that he could just sink through the couch cushions. "Oh Merlin, I didn't mean it like that!" he exclaimed, and Severus smirked. "I meant we could go out."

Severus's eyebrow arched higher.

Was it possible to die of embarrassment? "I meant leave the flat!" Harry said. "As _friends_. And do something entirely platonic." _Well, that was a struggle_ , thought Harry in exasperation.

But Severus just smiled sadly. "I wish things were different," he said.

What did that mean? Harry wondered. Did it mean that Severus returned Harry's feelings? Harry remembered Severus's hand in his last night, and his tearstained face and bloodshot eyes. "Things can be different," Harry said. "We could be together, if you wanted to. If you cared." An awkward pause. "Do...do you love me?" Harry aske, afraid of the answer.

Severus closed his eyes, and Harry wondered what he was thinking. He opened them again and said, quite simply, "No."

Ouch. Harry felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Tears sprang to his eyes and he swallowed, looking back down at his book. "Fine! I don't love you either," he said, refusing to look at Severus.

* * *

Severus didn't want to hurt Harry, but he also didn't want to lead Harry on. "You are my friend," Severus said, "but you cannot be anything more. I care about you, but I don't love you." Lies. All lies, Severus knew, but Harry wouldn't know the difference. It was for his own good.

"I heard you the first time!" Harry scoffed. Severus sighed, and returned to his potion. Lying to Harry felt wrong, but he knew a relationship with Harry would be wrong, too, even though it felt right to him. He would put Harry's precious fame at risk and give him a reputation that would likely affect Harry for the rest of his life.

Severus tried to focus on the potion in front of him. But after a few minutes of work, it was clear that that wasn't going to happen. He turned to Harry, but realized the boy was gone. "Harry!" he called out, going out into the living room. No one was there. He opened the door to his bedroom, then to Draco's. No Harry. He was alone in the flat.

* * *

Harry used the first chance he got to escape Severus's boring office and go to Diagon Alley, where Draco was hanging out with his friends. He introduced Harry to Blaise, Pansy, and Reyna, who Harry remembered was the girl that Draco liked. They all went out to dinner, and Harry and Draco didn't return to the flat until late.

Harry had had a good time, and realized that the Slytherins weren't as nasty as they wanted everyone to believe. They were actually quite friendly and even accepting of Harry, though their sarcasm reminded Harry of someone who he really hadn't wanted to be reminded of at the moment.

"Where have you been?!" Severus exclaimed when Harry and Draco returned. Draco jumped and looked at Harry questioningly. _Later_ , Harry mouthed, and the blond nodded.

"I was out with Draco and his friends," Harry said.

Severus glared and Harry winced. "You don't even know how worried I was, do you? I turn around and suddenly you're not there, or anywhere in the flat!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I know, Severus, I have something called a bloody _life_! Shocking, isn't it? Besides, I thought you, what was it you said? _Didn't love me_."

"I care very deeply about you," Severus said. "But I would not be a good boyfriend for you."

"I didn't _ask_ you to be my boyfriend," Harry said, getting a little annoyed at Severus's stubbornness. "I just asked you if you love me. That's not asking you to make any sort of commitment to me."

"I love you," Severus said, and Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "But that can't change anything between us."

"I know," Harry said. "Like I said, I didn't ask you to be my boyfriend. It would be unfair of me, and I would hate to be the cause of you getting fired from your job."

"Thank you, Harry. I am sorry that we are not allowed to explore our feelings," Severus said.

"There's nothing that says you can't kiss me," Harry pointed out.

Severus smiled, and pulled Harry against him. Harry's heart pounded at the thought of what was about to happen and the feeling of Severus's body pressed against his, a reality this time and not a dream. But he didn't have much time to dwell on it before Severus's lips brushed softly against his own. Harry's eyes fluttered closed and he kissed Severus back deeply, putting as much emotion into the kiss as he could. The kiss was slow and gentle, and Severus's large nose pressed against Harry's. Harry felt Severus's tongue brush against his bottom lip and he opened his mouth, moaning when Severus's tongue caressed his own. No kiss had ever made Harry feel like this, not with Cho or Draco. As Severus explored Harry's mouth with his tongue, Harry did something he'd only dreamed of, and stroked Severus's hair with his fingers. Severus gasped into Harry's mouth and pulled him even closer.

The kiss lasted a long time, and both were flushed and gasping for breath when they broke apart. Harry thought Severus looked adorable and surprisingly younger with his disheveled hair, rumpled clothes, and swollen red lips. "Well...I'm going to bed," Harry said, breaking the silence. "You coming?"

Severus looked slightly confused.

" _Why_ does this keep happening?" Harry facepalmed. "I meant, are you going to bed too? In your own, very separate bed?"

Severus laughed. "Yes. You aren't very good with words, are you?"

"Oh, shut up, you old git," Harry teased. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Severus smirked and accepted Harry's hug, holding him tightly. When they pulled back, he said, "I really do love you."

Harry smiled. "I know. I love you, too." He went into the bedroom, leaving Severus alone with his thoughts.

* * *

 **AN: Hope you all liked the chapter! Thank you for so many kind reviews and thank you to all who have been reading this story! Updates soon and please review :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Cadi: Hehe no problem, I like your name :) Hope you like the new chapter!**

 **lilly-flower15: thank you!**

 **ALiveTodaytoWrite: yep love is awesome! And thank you!**

* * *

Harry was laying in bed trying to fall asleep when he heard the door open and close, and Severus's quiet footsteps across the room. After a minute, everything was silent again. Harry slipped out of bed and went over to Severus's bed, shaking his shoulder gently. "Harry?" Severus asked, sounding moments away from sleep.

"It's me," Harry confirmed. "I was just wondering if I could sleep with you tonight. In your bed. Just sleeping."

Severus moved over to the middle of the bed, leaving room for Harry. The younger man crawled into the bed and pulled the blankets over him, snuggling against Severus. "I sleep better when I'm with you," Harry whispered in the darkness.

He felt Severus's arm wrap around him and pull him close. "I do, too," he confessed.

"You're comfortable with this, right Sev?" Harry asked. "If not, I can go back to my bed."

Severus mumbled an answer, but Harry didn't hear it. Assuming it was a yes, Harry rested his head on the Potions Master's shoulder and closed his eyes.

* * *

They didn't talk about the kiss at all as the days passed. But Severus allowed Harry to sleep in his bed every night instead of the fold out couch. Harry loved falling asleep in Severus's arms. It made him feel safe, and he was glad that he didn't have to use his potion. But he didn't want to think about the next school year, where things would be different. Harry wouldn't just be able to sneak into his Professor's bed every night. He would probably have to ask Severus to make him more sleeping potion before they went back to school.

Ron and Hermione came to visit one day, about a week after Harry went to the hospital. Harry hadn't realized how much he'd missed his best friends until he saw them. "We're dating now," Hermione had said, to Harry's delight. "So how's your summer? I still can't believe you're living with Professor Snape."

Severus had gone into his office to give Harry alone time with his friends, but Draco came out of his bedroom. "Oh yeah, and Draco and I are friends now," Harry informed them. They both looked surprised, even Hermione. Ron looked skeptical. "Draco, didn't you have something you wanted to say to Ron?" Harry reminded him.

"Right," Draco said awkwardly. "I'm sorry for how I have treated you since we met."

"Bloody impressive." Ron looked at Harry. "He really means it?"

"Veritaserum, if you don't believe him," Severus said as he came out of his office and joined the group.

"Yes, I really mean it," Draco said. "It's called growing up."

"Okay," said Harry, sensing a fight about to start. "Why don't we all go out to lunch?"

"That is a great idea," Severus said. They decided on an Italian place that was several blocks away. A waitress gave them a booth, and Harry, Severus, and Draco sat on one side while Ron and Hermione sat on the other. Harry was glad he'd gotten a seat next to Severus.

Their fingers brushed as they looked at the menu, and Harry felt his face growing hot. "Sorry," he murmured as he pulled away, trying to ignore the warmth in his chest. He looked up and noticed Hermione was staring at them, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Harry gulped. Ron was happily oblivious, glancing eagerly down at the menu in front of him. But Harry made a mental note to be prepared for Hermione's questions, even though he probably didn't have an answer for any of them.

"The fettuccini alfredo looks delicious," Severus said. "And it comes with broccoli."

"I'm getting the lasagna," Harry said, and put their menu on the edge of the table for the waitress.

"So Professor Snape, it seems like you and Harry are close," Hermione said, and Harry winced. He shook his head at her, pleading as much as he could with his eyes. Hermione just grinned at him.

"Yes, we are," Severus said. "Harry is a wonderful person." He smiled at the boy beside him, who couldn't help blushing. "I am glad that I have had the pleasure of getting to know him this summer."

"So are you friends, or..." Hermione trailed off, looking like she was unsure of how to ask the question. Harry shook his head at her very quickly, signaling for her to stop in any way he knew how.

"Miss Granger, when asking a question, it is important to ask the whole question," Severus pointed out.

"Are you and Harry dating?" Hermione blurted out, and Ron looked at her in surprise. So did Severus and Harry. Harry could tell that Draco was trying desperately hard not to laugh. Harry supposed he appreciated the effort.

"Hermione, stop being nosy," Harry said, surprised at the anger in his own voice. "He's my professor."

"Harry is right, Miss Granger. There is nothing between us except friendship," Severus agreed. Harry couldn't help but think of the kiss, and wondered if Severus was thinking about it too. Harry reached down under the table and laced his fingers through Severus's, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Surprisingly, Severus didn't pull away, and he even squeezed back.

Harry couldn't believe Hermione had been so bold as to ask a professor if he was dating a student - casually too, like she was asking about the weather. She gave Harry a we'll-talk-about-this-later look and Harry gave her a damn-right-we-are look.

"So anyway, Severus, Draco and I are going out for dinner on my birthday," Harry said, changing the subject. "You guys should come."

"Sounds fun," Ron said. "By the way, Harry, are you still planning on staying with me and my family the last week before school?"

Harry looked at Severus. "I don't know," he said. Even though he loved the Weasleys, he would miss Severus a lot.

"Go," Severus said. "Spend time with your friends. I will see you at school, and there's still a month left until your birthday."

"All right," Harry agreed.

"Awesome! We're going to have an epic Quidditch match and you should definitely be our Seeker," Ron said excitedly.

"Sure," Harry agreed. He and Ron discussed Quidditch strategy the whole meal, while Hermione and Severus discussed Potions. She tried to convince Severus to tell her his plans for their next class, but he wouldn't. It was a great afternoon, and Harry was reluctant to part with his friends. "See you in a month," Harry said, hugging Ron and then Hermione. Surprisingly, Ron and Draco shook hands, quite formally, and so did Hermione and Draco. They said goodbye and left, Harry on their way to the flat and Ron and Hermione to meet up with the Weasleys in Diagon Alley.

"I missed Ron and Hermione so much," Harry said. "It was so good to see them."

"You are lucky to have your friends," Severus said. "Although, Miss Granger is quite bold."

"Yes she is," Harry agreed, blushing a little.

Severus shook his head, and Harry laughed. "What a question to ask a teacher," said the Potions Master, looking quite amused. "She is very perceptive."

"She's just trying to help," Harry said. "She has good intentions."

"Hmm," Severus said vaguely, and wouldn't meet Harry's gaze. But as they sat down together on the couch, he took Harry's hand.

* * *

That night, Harry slept in Severus's arms as he had been for the past week. He was trying to fall asleep when he felt a pair of warm lips brush against his neck. "Sev?" Harry asked. No response, just a pair of arms pulling him close against the body beside him. Harry gasped as a warm, wet tongue slowly licked his neck. "Sev?" Harry said again, shaking his shoulder.

"What?" Severus's eyes opened, and he blinked and looked around. "Merlin, Harry. I'm sorry."

"Were you doing that in your sleep?" Harry asked, astonished.

"Yes," Severus admitted. "I...I sleepwalk sometimes."

"Oh," said Harry. "Well, at least you don't snore. Ron snores really loudly."

Severus smiled at that. "But this is more embarrassing," Severus said. "I was worried if we shared a bed, you may eventually notice."

"Are you not comfortable with sharing a bed?" Harry asked, propping his head up on his palm.

"I am," Severus said. "I am...very comfortable. Are you?"

"Yes," Harry said. He thought about how things would change once school started again. "Can I ask you something, Sev?"

"Of course."

"Will we still be friends after the summer is over?" Harry asked. "I mean...I know you want to have a certain reputation with the rest of the students. But is it too much to ask to spend time with you outside of class?"

"Not at all," Severus said, pulling him close. "Harry, if you want to be friends, we will find a way. There's no rules against that."

"And...I have to sleep in my dorm, right?" Harry asked a bit shyly.

Severus smiled. "I'm afraid so, Harry. We wouldn't want your peers suspecting anything. But maybe some nights...I don't know. We will work something out, all right?"

"All right," Harry said softly, and snuggled against Severus. "I'll miss this. Just the two of us. Well, and Draco."

Severus chuckled and Harry felt the Potions Master's hand stroking his hair. "I will miss it, too," he agreed. "I have enjoyed this summer."

"Me too," Harry said. "I thought I would be alone after losing Sirius. But I'm not, thanks to you."

"I'm glad I could help," Severus said, and kissed Harry's hair. "Goodnight Harry."

"Goodnight Sev." Harry buried his face in Severus's chest and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry I haven't updated in so long! I'm writing a novel so I've been focusing more on that. Hope you all liked the new chapter. Updates soon :) Please review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Cadi: Haha I know right. and thanks :)**

 **ALiveTodaytoWrite: Thanks, glad you're enjoying the story!**

 **lilly-flower15: Thanks, sorry it took so long to update**

 **animelvr23: Thank you! :)**

 **CyberWolf SgtJay: Yay I'm so glad you love it!**

 **lilyflower101: I totally agree. Love is love and age and gender don't matter.**

* * *

A few days later, Harry met up with Hermione in Diagon Alley. He needed to talk to her, and he had prepared himself for her questions. He wanted to talk to his best friend about what he was feeling, but he was also still angry that she had so straightforwardly asked - right in front of Severus!

"So Harry, what is going on between you and Professor Snape?" Hermione asked. "How did you and him get so close? Because I know you're close to him and don't even try to deny it."

"I won't deny it," Harry said. "Yeah, Sev and I are close." Hermione raised an eyebrow at the nickname. "He found me crying in the corridor right before school ended, and gave me a sleeping potion. Then the next day he asked me if I wanted to live with him over the summer. And then things just sort of went from there. He's wonderful once you get to know him. He's kind, and caring."

"Do you love him?" Hermione asked.

"Yes," Harry said. "And he said he loves me, but he can't be with me like that because I'm his student."

"So when you get back to school, are you going to keep being friends?"

"Yeah, we are," Harry said. "I was worried about it, so I talked to him and we're going to work something out. But I'm just dreading term because it won't be the same."

"But you will see him every day," Hermione pointed out. "That's something."

"I know," said Harry.

"But Harry, if you and Professor Snape were ever in a relationship and you two got caught, you both could be in serious trouble. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know," Harry said. "I don't expect Severus to start a relationship with me. That could get him fired."

"He really does care about you, Harry," said Hermione. "Yesterday was the only time I've ever seen him show any emotion."

Harry nodded, thinking of how much he would miss Severus when the summer ended. He really hoped school wouldn't bring them apart. "But Sev won't treat me any differently than the rest of the students when we're in class," he said. "I know it's stupid, but I just don't want him to yell at me even though I know he won't mean it."

"It'll work out," Hermione said.

"Thanks," Harry said. "I hope so."

* * *

When he got back to the flat, Severus was sitting in his recliner reading. Harry smiled and grabbed his own book, nestling against Severus in the large chair. "Hey," Harry said.

"How was your talk with Hermione?" Severus asked, putting down his book.

"It was okay," Harry said. "I told her we're just friends."

Severus nodded, and they sat in silence for a few minutes before the Potions Master said, "Can I have an adult conversation with you, Harry?"

"Of course," Harry said. "Is everything all right?"

"Mostly," Severus said. "But, I have been thinking about a lot of things. My future, and your future, and what will happen when we go back to school." He took Harry's hands, and Harry's heart began to pound. "Harry, I have learned that life is too short. And I don't want to continue to live a lie, at least not when it comes to you. I want to be happy in the time that we have left, especially with the war approaching. We need to choose our battles, and this isn't a battle I want to fight. We both deserve to be happy."

Harry didn't dare hope. "Sev, what are you saying?"

"I am asking if you will have dinner with me," Severus said.

"What? Of course I will!" Harry hugged Severus tightly, and the older man hugged him back. "Is this a date?"

Severus pulled away and brushed a lock of hair out of Harry's eyes. "If you want it to be," he said.

Harry smiled and couldn't stop the tears from falling. "I love you," he said as Severus brushed away Harry's tears. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Severus smiled and held Harry close. "So I'll cook us dinner tonight."

"Okay." Harry smiled back through his tears. He couldn't remember ever being happier.

* * *

A while later Harry knocked on Draco's door, hoping that he was home. He was, and he grinned when he saw Harry. "Hey. What's up?"

"I have really good news," said Harry, and Draco let him in, closing the door behind them. "Severus asked me to have dinner with him tonight."

Draco gasped. "He did? That's amazing, Harry!"

"I know." Harry couldn't stop smiling. "I'm so happy that he actually wants to be with me."

"So this is a date then?" Draco asked.

"Yeah," Harry said happily.

"Wow. I'm really happy for both of you," Draco said. "You should let me pick out something for you to wear."

"Sure," Harry said. "I don't have many nice clothes though-"

"That's all right," Draco said, and started going through his closet. "You can borrow something of mine." He began to sort through his suits.

"A suit? Draco, it's just dinner. Here," Harry said. "Besides, I can't borrow that. It's way too nice, and I definitely don't trust myself with-"

"Harry," Draco laughed. "Slow down. Severus will love it."

"If you're sure," Harry said. "I promise I-"

"I know you'll be careful," Draco said, cutting him off. "And it's the least I could do after how I treated you."

"Draco..." Harry hugged the other boy tightly. "I forgive you."

"Good." Draco smiled and selected a suit for Harry, holding it up to the raven-haired boy. "This one."

"Thanks." Harry smiled back and went to go change.

* * *

"Dinner smells fantastic," Harry said as he walked into the kitchen, feeling a bit nervous. "What is it?" He noticed that the kitchen lights were off and that there were candles lit on the table.

"Chicken," Severus said. He turned to Harry and raised an eyebrow. "You look amazing."

Harry smiled, feeling some of his anxiety dwindle away. This was just Severus. "Thanks. So do you." The Potions Master was dressed in a simple but nice black button-down shirt and dark jeans. "You should wear Muggle clothes more often. They look good on you."

"Thank you." Severus pulled Harry into his arms. He kissed Harry softly, and the younger man wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed back. Harry's heart pounded as their lips brushed, and their bodies pressed together. Harry ran his tongue across Severus's bottom lip and moaned when their tongues touched. He reached down to the first button on Severus's shirt and unbuttoned it, then the second, then the third. Their kiss was quickly heating up and Harry didn't allow himself to think about how far the moment might go.

"Our dinner will get cold," Severus said, untangling himself from Harry and buttoning his shirt. He turned away from Harry and began to set the table. They sat down to eat. "So, I have potentially good news."

"What is it?" Harry asked in between bites of food. "This chicken is really good."

"I'm glad you like it," Severus said. "Anyway I have applied for the DADA position for next year. Albus tells me that it won't be in your schedule for your sixth year?"

"Right," Harry said. "I need advanced Potions in order to graduate and Remus has taught me more DADA than he originally had in his curriculum. So, I am ahead, and...behind in Potions." Harry couldn't help but feel awkward at that last part, sitting there with the Potions Master.

"I apologize if I made Potions difficult for you," Severus said.

"It's all right, Severus." Harry smiled. "I'll work on it this year."

"And I will be here for you if there is anything you need," Severus said.

"So, who's going to be the new Potions Professor?" Harry asked.

"Well, we don't have a new one yet, but Albus is trying to convince a friend of his to teach Potions at Hogwarts next year," Severus informed him. "I also thought we should discuss how next year will affect our relationship, if we are going to start something."

"I believe in us," Harry said. "We'll get through it. And it's only until graduation."

"I know," Severus said. "Do you still have your dad's Invisibility Cloak?"

"Yes," Harry said. "I can use it to sneak around if I need to."

"If you need to," Severus repeated, and smiled. "Sneaking around has always been one of your hobbies, hasn't it? I assume it will not be an issue for you."

Harry laughed. "So, where will we be able to spend time together?"

"My private quarters," Severus said. "Will you be comfortable with that?"

"Severus," Harry said, and reached for the Potions Master's hand. "I am comfortable with you."

"Good." Severus's fingers laced through his own, and Harry felt his heart skip a beat. He leaned in close and his soft, warm lips brushed against Harry's, lingering for a long moment before they reluctantly pulled away. "I feel so much when we do that."

"I do too," Harry said, and smiled.

* * *

Later that night, Harry was up late finishing his book when Draco walked in. "Hey," the blond said. "How was your date?"

"It was wonderful," Harry said. "We kissed."

Draco gasped. "You did? Give me details!"

"Gross, no." Harry closed his book. "But it was really romantic."

"You really care about him, right?" Draco asked.

"Of course," Harry said. "I love him. Why?"

"I just want Severus to be happy," Draco said. "He's...had a really hard life. You'll take care of him?"

"Don't worry," Harry said.

"Good. Because if you ever hurt him, I don't care if we're friends. I'll hex you," Draco said, and looked like he meant it.

"Understood." Harry grinned, and Draco grinned back before going into his room. Harry put his book down and went into the bedroom he shared with Severus. "Hey," said Harry a bit shyly, closing the door behind him. "Thank you for dinner tonight. I had a wonderful time."

"I'm glad." Harry got in bed as Severus wrapped an arm around him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Harry said. He turned out the light and brushed his lips against Severus's.

* * *

 **AN: So sorry for the late update! Hope this chapter made up for it though :) Updates soon. Please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**lilly-flower15: thanks hope you like the new chapter!**

 **ALiveTodaytoWrite: Thanks!**

 **lilyflower101: Yeah, I hate it too. It's so stupid.**

 **WARNING: There will be an explicit scene with Harry and Severus at the end of this chapter. It's not too graphic but you have been warned. This is an M rated story so please don't flame in the reviews.**

* * *

Harry woke up the next morning with a vivid memory of his dream from last night. He began to scoot out of bed when a pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him against the other body in the bed.

"Good morning." Harry shivered at the sound of Severus's baritone voice.

"Morning," Harry echoed, still thinking of the dream, and Severus's bare skin against his own. His heart began to beat faster. Harry turned around to face Severus, who was clad in a T-shirt and boxers. He slipped his hands under Severus's shirt and pulled it over the older man's head, revealing tanned, bare skin. "Is this okay?"

Severus nodded, staring at Harry as the younger man gently ran his fingertip over one of his scars. Harry felt him shiver as he trailed his fingers down Severus's warm skin, feeling the electricity and the intimacy of the moment between them. Harry pulled Severus down on top of him and wrapped his legs around Severus's, suddenly very aware that the older man was in his underwear. He ran his hands over Severus's smooth skin and tangled them in his hair, bringing their mouths together. Severus's lips were hot against his own, and the Potions Master's hands slid down to Harry's hips. Severus broke the kiss to trail kisses down Harry's neck, and a moan escaped the younger man's lips. "Like that?" Severus asked, his lips trailing down to the edge of Harry's shirt. Harry moaned in response and silenced the Potions Master with another kiss. The kiss deepened, and Harry's heart raced as he felt Severus's fingers lifting his shirt. The kiss broke as the fabric got in the way, and then Harry's shirt fell on the floor. Then Severus's hands slipped under the waistband of his sweatpants and pulled them down.

"You'll tell me if you're ever uncomfortable with anything we're doing, right?" Severus asked him. Harry nodded, and Severus kissed him again. Harry suddenly realized that this was farther than he had ever gone with anyone. And there were only two layers of clothing separating them.

Severus ran his hands over Harry's thighs, and the younger man gasped at the touch. "I think we should stop," Harry said, "for now."

Severus pulled back immediately, and Harry felt reassured confirming that he could trust the older man. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Harry said. "That was hot." Severus smirked at that. "But I'm not quite ready to take things farther yet."

"That's all right, Harry. I would never force you to do something you aren't comfortable with." Severus's palm brushed Harry's cheek. He sat up so they weren't pressed together so intimately, and reached for his shirt. Harry pulled his sweatpants back up. Once they were mostly dressed, Severus kissed Harry softly. "You'll talk to me if you ever want to take things farther?"

"I will," Harry said. He got out of bed and grabbed his shirt that had been tossed on the floor. He pulled it back over his head and walked out of the bedroom. "Severus? I think you should probably come here."

"What?" Severus pulled on a pair of jeans and walked out into the living room. "Oh."

Lucius Malfoy was standing in the doorway. "Where's Draco?"

"Most likely in his room," Severus said. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to take Draco home with me for the remainder of the summer," Lucius said.

Draco came out of his bedroom. "What's going on?" He saw his father and frowned. "More drama, I assume?" He folded his arms.

"Draco, you're coming home with me," Lucius said. "Your mother-"

"I don't care!" Draco said. "I belong to no one else but me, and you can't make me go anywhere."

"He is staying with me, Lucius," Severus said. "That is what you wanted, isn't it?" He wrapped an arm protectively around his godson's shoulders. "Get out of my flat."

Lucius opened his mouth, and closed it again. He turned on his heel and stalked out, slamming the door behind him. "Thank you, Severus," Draco said. "I can't stand my parents."

"But at least you have them," Harry said. "And at least they're both fighting for you."

"Right," Draco said. "Sorry. I forgot."

"Don't worry about it." Harry smiled and Draco went back into his room.

Harry looked up at Severus. He couldn't help but admire his boyfriend for standing up for his godson. Lucius Malfoy could be scary, but Severus could also be just as scary. "You're sexy when you're angry."

Severus looked at him in surprise. "Are you flirting with me?"

"Badly." Harry grinned. "Is it working?"

"Indeed it is," Severus replied, pulling Harry close and kissing him.

* * *

Harry's dreams about Severus continued every night. He didn't want to talk about them with his boyfriend, mostly because he wasn't ready to talk about it. And also he wasn't ready to do any of the activities he and Severus did in his dreams.

Severus took him out on dates -sometimes to see a play, or go to dinner. One time they went to the London Eye again, and Harry thought of how much had changed since the last time they'd been there.

But Severus wouldn't kiss him in public, or even hold his hand. Harry tried, and Severus would avoid it or worse, ignore him. This led to their first fight, which had hurt a lot more than Harry expected. When they arrived back home, Harry turned on him. "Why even bother taking me out on dates if you're not going to be proud of our relationship?" he asked.

Severus sighed. "It's not about what I think," he said. "You know that. It's about what other people think."

"I don't care what other people think." Harry's eyes filled with tears. "And I don't care about my stupid fame! If I could give it away, I would. I'm sick of being judged for every bloody thing I do." He wiped away his tears. "I love you, Severus Snape. I want to kiss you and hold your hand in public. I want to show people that you're mine."

"I love you too, Harry." Severus approached him and took his hands. "And we will tell people. After you graduate."

"I don't want to wait that long." A sob escaped him. "I don't want to hide my feelings for you."

"Harry-"

"You know what I keep thinking about?" Harry said. "I keep thinking, what if someone else flirts with you or asks you out, and you realize that they're better for you than I am because you can actually be yourself around them, and kiss them and hold their hand in public-"

"Harry! Stop," Severus exclaimed, his voice almost harsh. "I have told you before that I am comfortable being myself around you. I don't want anyone else."

"I'm so scared," Harry said. "Almost everyone I love is gone."

Severus held him close, and Harry cried into his chest. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. "I will fight to be with you, Harry."

Harry lifted his head to look at Severus, tears streaming down his cheeks. Severus wiped them away and kissed him softly. Harry leaned into the kiss, his heart fluttering. Severus's tongue slipped into his mouth and licked his own, and a moan escaped Harry's lips. He found the top button on Severus's shirt and unbuttoned his shirt all the way down. Harry looked up at Severus and said, "I want to take things farther."

Severus nodded and kissed him again, harder this time. His lips were hot against Harry's and his tongue explored Harry's mouth thoroughly. Severus's hands slid down to Harry's hips and he pulled the younger man tight against him. "Bedroom," Severus gasped, his voice muffled into the kiss. Harry's heart pounded fast as Severus led him to the bedroom, locking the door behind him. Severus pushed him gently onto the bed and climbed on top of him, kissing him hungrily. He broke the kiss suddenly, and Harry whimpered and tried to pull him back down for another kiss but Severus stopped him. "What is it that you want to do?" Severus asked him.

Harry blushed at the question. "Can I touch you?" he asked a bit shyly.

"Yes," Severus agreed, and Harry blushed as he glanced down at his boyfriend's lap. "Don't be nervous," Severus said, his voice barely above a whisper. He brushed a lock of hair out of Harry's eyes, and Harry leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss before pulling down Severus's trousers.

Harry had never seen anyone naked besides himself, so this was a whole new experience for him. Severus was watching him closely, and Harry reached for his hand. "You're beautiful," Harry said. He glanced down at Severus's length and wrapped a hand around it, looking up when he heard Severus gasp. "Did I hurt you?"

Severus shook his head and closed his eyes, leaning back against the pillow as Harry stroked him. Harry felt Severus hardening under his touch and felt a sense of satisfaction. He couldn't help enjoying Severus's moans and gasps as he touched him, and after a while, Severus opened his eyes. "Harry, I'm - I'm going to-" A moment later a sticky white liquid spilled onto Harry's hand.

Harry met Severus's gaze. "That was..." He searched for the right word. "Really great. Now I see why all my friends are talking about sex all the time."

Severus chuckled and kissed him. "It is special," Severus agreed.

Harry leaned in for another kiss but stopped when there was a knock on the bedroom door. "Severus? Harry? There's an emergency!"

They got out of bed so fast that they practically fell out, getting dressed as fast as they could manage as they ran to the door. Severus threw open the door. "What happened?"

Harry was startled to see Draco in tears. "I went to my house to get some things," he said. "A-and when I got there I found my dad...and he was...he's dead."

* * *

 **AN: Hope you all liked the chapter! Please review for more updates soon**


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